This short "Romantic Memo" contains thoughts, observations, research and ideas about Keeping RomanceAlive  in relationships.


July evenings come early in New Zealand. The sun drops below the horizon before 5:30 on Kiwi winters.

The blazing houselights offered little illumination for their romantic evening. So Mikki and Chris added the glow of their 2 cell phones torches.

  • No, they weren’t dinning by candlelight under the Southern Cross;
  • They weren’t dashing through the snow, looking for a tree; (It was July!)
  • And they weren’t snuggled together sipping hot cocoa.

Mikki and Chris were playing together – seriously playing together.

The two Kiwis are competitive chainsawing champions. They enjoy training, practicing, and competing together. They enjoy being together chainsawing and woodchopping.

While other 20-somethings prefer white linens, tapered candles, clinking glasses and flambéed something, these 2 encourage each other and strengthen their relationship woodchopping.

Which brings us to a truth – romance looks different to different people and different couples.

I’ve asked people about the most romantic thing they’ve ever experienced. Answers range from dinner at home to rock climbing to late night talks or a weekend at the beach.

What your sweetheart finds romantic may not sound attractive to me. And what I find romantic may seem boring to you. Different couples romance differently.

And that’s great! We’re all built differently and Romance differently.

The secret to keeping Romance Alive is discovering what your sweetheart finds romantic, understanding why your sweetheart finds it romantic, then romancing your sweetheart how your sweetheart wants to be romanced.

There it is again, the Platinum Rule of Romance: Romance your sweetheart how your sweetheart wants to be romanced.

You may think Mikki and Chris are crazy to consider woodchopping a Romantic Interlude. You may think walking hand-in-hand through a field of flowers downright dull. But it’s right for the right couple.

Discover what you and your sweetheart consider Romantic, then let Romance build your relationship


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