RomanticMemos

This short "Romantic Memo" contains thoughts, observations, research and ideas about Keeping RomanceAlive  in relationships.


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Do you feel imprisoned, quarantined? Today’s shelter-in-place orders are bringing pressures on couples, especially when it comes to keeping Romance Alive.

I’ve reviewed many articles about the effects these restrictions have on couples. Some “experts” provide recommendations for enduring this enforced, non-stop togetherness. And if you’re separated, other “experts” advise how to stay connected at a distance. Social media contains glowing praises about how wonderful it is to be imprisoned with their sweetheart. Others mock their other’s lack of sensibility and sensitivity.

The conclusion? When society begins again:

  1. This “catastrophe” will have been the moment life paused and their romance reignited, or
  2. An appointment with the lawyer will have already been made weeks ago.

Which of these two options you experience depends on what you did before the word Covid-19 was coined.

Romance, a true, relationship-building Romance is built on the Relationship Triangle. And three characteristics form the Relationship Triangle.

First, each person maintains personal honor. They are a person of their word, someone with integrity no matter who’s around – or even if no one is around.

Secondly, they respect themselves and the other. Their personal value (not ego) is such they won’t allow belittling attitudes from others and remove those who don’t value or respect them. They also honor the other: their abilities, talents and boundaries.

Thirdly, there is shared love between them. Each accepts and esteems the other for who they are as a person. In this relationship it is safe to be intimate, vulnerable. And each is willing to support the other, cheering them on through difficulties and victories.

If your relationship is built on the Relationship Triangle, you’ll have the foundation to keep Romance Alive. Your Romance will continue to sparkle through the darkest, pressure-filled moments of this enforced togetherness.

And if it's not, start building now. 

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