Is your relationship suffering because you are a theoretical romantic?
Imagine a professor of theoretical romance named Arthur. He’s invited Clara to join him in the botanical conservatory.
He’d calculated everything:
• Humidity plus jasmine would increase her serotonin level 23%.
• Playlist calculated to elevate her heart rate to 90 bpm.
• Eye contact maintained at 70% to show interest.
With the sun at the ideal 42-degree angle, Arthur told Clara, “Our emotional compatibility is high. And a romantic engagement would be ‘mutually beneficial’”.
How do you think the rest of the date went?
The story is fictional. But I’ve met people who approach romance in a similar, theoretical manner. They read books, watch videos, study relational psychology. They’ll carefully plan every single minute of Romantic Moments.
Their partner’s response was not the expected outcome.
They modify the variables they calculate will correct the previous Romantic Moment’s results. Same outcome.
The problem is romance isn’t a theory. A science experiment. Healthy relationships with emotional intimacy and vibrant romance aren’t built through perfect calculations.
It’s critical to romance on the practical side.
The scientific approach misses two important things
- Effective romance requires you to understand your partner’s unique preference
- Romance is about your relationship
Becoming a “practical romancer” who effectively romances their partner requires observations of what brings joy in him/her. And this is key. Understand your sweetheart’s Romantic Preference Grouping.
- Gifts
- Time
- Touch
- Words
These observations reveal valuable insights into how to romance your sweetheart.
Now create simple Romantic Moments based on those insights. Watch their response. Ask what they enjoyed most. Learn. Adjust. Grow.
A theoretical romantic study romance. A practical romancer builds connection, creates shared memories and strengthens your relationship.
Leave the theory-focused romantic laboratory to the physicist. Your sweetheart desires you to romance him/her in a personal, practical way.
Robert Beagle
