“Why am I responsible for every single meal,” Cheryl muttered as she prepared another dinner. It wasn’t like she didn’t work outside the house. Even when she wanted a break, she had to decide where they’d go to eat.
“Why do I have to imagine and create every single Romantic Moment for us,” Aaron mumbled under his breath as opened the car door for her. It seemed he was expected to create all the Romantic Moments in their relationship.
Somehow, they’d fallen into the rut of “culturally assigned responsibility.” They resented these expectations and by extension, resented their partner. It didn’t feel like a relationship of equals.
Can you identify?
If you answered “yes,” you might also feel a bit of animosity towards your partner. Maybe more than just “a bit.”
While working on “The Pathway to Romance” training course, I realized this issue is shared by many couples. It’s often expected:
- The guy will create all the Romantic Moments. He must guess what she’d like to do, then initiate each and every Romantic Moment.
- The lady has domestic responsibilities. As for Romantic Moments, she’s supposed to demurely sit, legs crossed and patiently wait for the guy to create the Moments, then ask her to join him.
This is a recipe for a very unfulfilling relationship.
My suggestion is mutually agree to move your relationship to that of equals. Share responsibilities, whether they are tasks around the house or creating Romantic Moments.
Neither person in your relationship has the whole, entire, 100% responsibility to be the creator of each and every Romantic Moment. When both create Romantic Moments, both experience the excitement of coming up with Romantic Moment ideas and being romanced by their partner. Romance becomes special again, a positive part of your relationship. It helps Rekindle, Reconnect and Renew the special bond you share.
