I discovered I’ve gotten something wrong. Missed it after decades of research and study into relationships and romance.
For some, touch is extremely important. It’s our romantic preference. Holding hands. Gentle caresses. Snuggling. While hugging is the type of touch we most desire, it’s an embrace we crave.
Researching touch and romance this past week, I uncovered a revelation.
It resonated deep inside me. Let me summarize.
Sometimes, you want to be hugged. Really hugged. Not a quick, polite squeeze but a warm, tight, no-rush embrace that slows the world and lets you finally exhale. Your safe place. An embrace from someone you actually want to call your better half. Connecting you. Silently saying, “you’re not alone anymore.”
If you prefer being romanced with touch, I’ll bet you shouted AMEN…at least internally. Inside you thought, “I agree. They get me.”
But what happens when your partner longs to be embraced, and you’re not the Huggy-bear type?
Sometimes, one person longs for an embrace where they melt into their partner. The other is not comfortable with this. They’re severely challenged to extend a hug into an embrace. How does the non-toucher romance his/her partner as they prefer to be romanced?
First, remember how much your partner means to you. Why you fell in love with them. Why you still treasure them in your life.
Then remember the Platinum Rule of Romance:
“Romance your partner as your partner prefers to be romanced.”
For the sake of your relationship, romance using your partner’s preferred way of being romanced. I’ve said it before. I’ll repeat it again. Don’t focus on romancing how you want to be romanced. Understand what your hugs, what your touch means to your partner. Understand, this is how they prefer to be romanced. Then romance your partner with unforgettable embraces.
