Is your partner organized or disorganized? How about you? Are there differences between the two or you?
Opposites do attract. Sometimes this attraction comes from finding someone who brings strengths to your life you don’t have:
• Organization to your disorganization.
• Spontaneity to your regimented world.
• Romance when you hesitate being romantic.
You’re intrigued with these differences. Your logical, structured life doesn’t often consider romance. These differences create “chemistry” between you. You’re attracted.
But research repeatedly shows it’s a myth that opposites attract and stay together in long term relationships. Most lasting relationships are based on similarities, not alluring differences.
So what do you do if your relationship is between opposites: Impulsive and Methodical? Active and Sedentary? Extrovert and Introvert? Romantic and Less-Then-Romantic? Can romance live in this relationship long-term?
Yes…but.
If you are in a relationship between opposites, here’s how to keep Romance Alive despite your differences.
First, and this is key for the health of your relationship, each must voice their unequivocal commitment to the longevity of your relationship.
Next, acknowledge out loud there are differences in your views about keeping Romance Alive. Accept there are differences.
Then, openly and honestly talk about your unique views of romance in your relationship. The different needs and desires each has for romance. Agree these differences are neither “right” nor “wrong.” You just view things differently.
Now work together to find ways of creating Romantic Moments that meet both of your needs. What does a Romantic Moment look like to you? To your partner? And agree on how often you will have Romantic Moments.
Then commit to working together, learning more about creating different Romantic Moments for each other.
And never lose sight of this truth: Differences or not, you’re in this together and both committed to your relationship’s health and longevity.
