Have you become frustrated in the bedroom, because all you do is sleep?
Maybe sex has become a rarity. One feels rejected. The other, pressured. Both feel afraid to bring it up because it might get worse.
You’re not alone.
This is the final installment in The Impact of No Romance on a Relationship. And the most sensitive consequence is the loss of sexual attraction and physical intimacy.
In this Romantic Memo, we’ll explore its impact and how to reignite your sexual relationship.
As romance disappears, it eventually reaches the bedroom.
- One feels unwanted.
- One feels used.
- The relationship feels transactional – roommates instead of lovers.
And simply demanding sex creates greater distance, increasing the temptation to seek “physical comfort” outside the relationship.
Where do you begin to change this trajectory?
First realize the partner avoiding physical intimacy may not feel valued as a person. They’re only valued and desired for sex. That’s where rebuilding begins. They must know they’re valued outside the bedroom.
Begin giving that partner small, consistent, sincere messages and actions showing they’re valued.
- Do something kind without expectations of reciprocity.
- Celebrate accomplishments.
- Assist with tasks around the home.
- Leave little personal notes and give compliments.
Be patient. Rebuilding is a marathon, not a sprint.
Steps two and three are (2) A Relationship Check-In and (3) creating simple Romantic Moments. I’ve outlined these in previous Romantic Memos.
As connection strengthens, gently introduce physical affection. Maybe invite your partner to cuddle. No expectations. Don’t make every physical touch a prelude to sex. Simply enjoy the physical touch.
As the both partners feels safe, cherished and valued, physical intimacy can become something you both desire and enjoy.
A healthy sexual relationship doesn’t start in the bedroom. It begins with healthy relational connecting coupled with romance.
A strong relationship where romance is alive creates an environment where emotional and physical intimacy can thrive.
Robert Beagle
