I didn’t realize what she was thinking.
Thought I’d put together a meaningful Romantic Moment designed around her Romantic Preference Grouping – gifts.
- We started with brunch at a secluded restaurant overlooking the river.
- Then we strolled along the river, talking about the upcoming Romantic Retreat we’d planned.
- We paused to admire the mountains reflected in the river.
- I handed her a small package: A card and snow globe from the resort we’d soon visit
Everything about her responses throughout the afternoon told me I’d touched the romantic place in her heart.
But then, she pulled back. It caught me off guard. What happened?
I gently asked what she was thinking. She hesitated, then shared something unexpected.
She loved the afternoon. Appreciated the gift. But now she felt pressure to create a Romantic Moment for me which equaled or exceeded this one I’d created for her. She worried any she’d plan might disappoint me.
Can you relate to her reaction?
Sometimes, we turn romance into a quiet competition. We unintentionally play can-you-top-this.
Fear of disappointment can erect barriers to Romantic Moment creation. If one thinks they must create a Romantic Moment more romantic than one created for them, they might not try.
Can you see the problem romantic competition can generate? Both of you are disappointed.
Here’s the truth. Romantic Moments are not about one-upmanship. It’s not keeping score. Romantic Moments are gifts created for one’s sweetheart. Freely given without expectations of reciprocity.
If your partner seems hesitant or unsure about creating a Romantic Moment equaling yours, remind them it’s not a contest. Let your partner know you create Romantic Moments because you want to. Because you love them. And you enjoy the ones they create for you. This helps remove the romantic pressure either of you might feel.
I’m curious. Have you ever felt this kind of pressure in your relationship?
Robert Beagle
