Do you know what quietly weakens attraction in a relationship?
A friend recently told me, “Robert, you’re an attractive guy. You dance well. You’re in good shape. Of course women find you attractive.”
My response? “Yea. I do okay.”
Her response surprised me. “Robert. Do you know how unattractive it is when you minimize a compliment and put yourself down?”
Her statement shocked me.
Have you ever dismissed a compliment? Minimized it? Rejected it because you didn’t want to appear arrogant?
Do you think this response makes your partner think you’re more attractive? Or less attractive?
Consider this. When you try to humbly dismiss a compliment:
- You’re calling the other person a liar.
- They might wonder if you’re as great as they think.
- You lower your self-view.
It negatively impacts the emotional connection, attraction, and intimacy with your partner.
The impact might seem negligible. But when you continually reject compliments, it weakens the relational foundation. Over time, it may Impact your partner’s view of you. And undermine this foundation.
What does this have to do with romance?
Romance isn’t just candlelight dinners. Good romance is built on a solid relationship foundation illustrated by the Relationship Triangle:
1) Personal honor
2) Mutual respect
3) Shared love
When you constantly downplay your partner’s compliments, you slowly weaken the first two sides of this Relationship Triangle. Without a solid relationship foundation, romance evaporates. Romantic Moments become unappealing to your partner.
The good news is you don’t have to become arrogant or prideful when you receive a compliment.
Next time someone compliments you, try this. Respond with “Thank you.” This shows sincere appreciation for your partner’s compliment. You will retain their respect and find your personal respect increasing.
And you become even more attractive.
Sometimes keeping Romance Alive begins with learning how to receive what your partner already sees in you.
Have you found it a challenge to receive a compliment? Or have you discovered other ways of accepting these compliments? I’d like to hear from you. Add your comment below.
Robert Beagle
