Can a gift carry a hidden message?
This is part four on giving gifts to your love. We’ve explored:
- When to give a gift.
- Consider who the gift is really for.
- Avoiding “last-minute gift” blunders.
Now let’s consider subtle-message gifts which damage relationships.
You unwrap your Christmas present and find workout gear, a self-help book, deodorant, or a lint roller. Or maybe in your birthday card there’s a gym membership certificate. On the surface, they might seem practical, thoughtful. But they weren’t on your wish list.
These aren’t relationship-building gifts. They come with hidden, hurtful, judgmental, and critical messages. ‘You need fixing.”
Gifts with subtle digs are insulting and highly offensive. They aren’t romantic. Don’t build connections. Research by Virgin Gifts found most people consider gifts with “subtle digs” the worst gift you can give your partner.
From personal experience, I’ll add that trying to pass one off as funny (“Oh, can’t you take a joke”) isn’t amusing. It keeps the message and makes the gift ever more offensive.
As previously discussed, gift giving requires planning on your part. Before buying a gift, pause and consider what your love might like to receive from you. When they open it, will it send the message you want them to hear: “I love you. You matter deeply to me. And I choose this gift specifically for you.”
And if you’re unsure what to give, don’t be afraid to ask him/her for a wish list. A Christmas wish list will give you gift ideas for birthdays and other special occasions. And you’ll learn the types of gifts your partner truly enjoys.
Whether or not their Romantic Preference Grouping is little gifts, consider the emotional impact the gift will have on her/him. The message it sends.
Give them something they’ll truly enjoy. Romance them with the gift and strengthen your relationship.
Robert Beagle, LET
